For a noble friend

Written to a friend:

Good sir, you've done good, and you have done it well. To answer your questions: We are definitely called upon to love and serve those in need. Opening up to people in a very personal way, getting into their lives and letting them into your own, is scary and difficult, and it makes you very vulnerable. But it's the only way to truly know what they really need.

There are some people out there really are just looking for a handout, and giving it to them does no good. There are others who really do want a way out of their situation, but for some reason or other they just keep hurting themselves. And then there are the folks who have just had really bad luck.

It takes getting to know a person to know whether what they need is simple material help, or a new perspective on how to get past their stumbling blocks, or whether the best love for them is tough love.

It's a calling that we all have, that most of us fail at least sometimes, but some are blessed with a particular spiritual gift for answering the need. How, then, do those of us without the gift serve? It's easy to fall into seeing problems like this in terms of dichotomies. Tough love for all on the one hand, or giving freely without discernment on the other. Conservatives tend to be guilty of the first, with the consequence that people in need are not loved or served. Liberals tend to lean the other way, but with the consequence that root causes are not addressed, and the human inclination to try and "game the system" can be left unchecked.

Compassion, real compassion, is not on either side. The root meaning of the word "compassion" is to share willingly in another's suffering. Share in another's suffering, walk beside them, lift them up. Carry that cross with them. The example of love that Jesus set before His followers was and is quite radical. We all fail. If we are honest, we admit that we all fail. And yet, we are all to keep trying, as if we can succeed. Sometimes, with God's help, we can.